Geezer Rant - a state of mind

Younger people stare in amazement when they have their first contact with a raving geezer. Usually it's at a checkout line that is moving at a snail pace or not at all. With a perceptible snap a senior citizen begins to mumble and become visibly agitated. Then like a volcano, they blow.

The properly executed geezer rant will culminate with "and I'm not putting up with this BULL****." With a flourish the ranting geezer abandons his cart, basket or purchase and stomps from the store snarling and muttering. That moment of empowerment may have been a lifetime in coming, but the rush is so rewarding that like an addiction, it will be repeated.

One must not undertake the geezer rant without understanding the full ramifications of your actions. Geezers don't purchase anything unless they need it. During a rant the needed purchase must be abandoned, requiring a trip to another store or returning later to again select the purchase. During the early years this may cause embarrassment but don't worry, you will outgrow this and bask in your power as mortified bystanders grab their wives and children fearing that you may be a weapon carrying lunatic.

Once it happens, you have arrived at that time of your life that can be truly rewarding. The "I don't give a damn, I'm raising hell" era of matured geezerdom.