Old Geezer on women

I was explaining to a friend that I don't understand women. They are always in such a hurry to get married even though its bad for their health. When asked what I meant, I explained that as soon as they start wearing a wedding band they are always sleepy or have a head ache.

Women are such strange creatures. I was on a blind date the other day and at dinner we were getting to know one another. She was complaining that her dog was a better companion than most men she met. I remarked that at least I wouldn't drag my butt across her carpet when it itched like her dog does. I hate having to decide if they really go to the ladies room when they excuse themselves. I waited almost an hour before discovering that she had abandoned me. It almost killed me eating both our dinners by myself.

Do women ever outgrow their desire to play with dolls? Every woman I meet wants to help me with my wardrobe. I become a live Ken doll! They can spend hours educating me about the current in-styles and brand names and deciding what I would look good wearing. Turtle necks, vests, cummerbunds. Bah! These cloths and styles I wear were good enough for Richard Nixon when he was president, and they are good enough for me!

What happens to all these macho "we're more man than you are" fem-Nazis when they push their shopping carts to the "Leave Carts Here" area in the parking lot? Where I come from this is a place with metal pipe rails on three sides to contain the carts when they are pushed together inside the rails. Properly stowed, you can get twenty to thirty carts into one. These women only push to get one wheel into the cart area, then they abandon the cart. When there are four carts there, it looks like a interstate pile-up with all the carts in a big jumble. Then someone (a man) has to wrestle all the carts into line. I wonder if those gals that fought so hard to attend the Citadel do any better?